1. It is Thursday night and you have been looking forward to a quiet night at home with your favorite TV shows. As you are nestling into the folds of a cozy blanket on the couch, your partner comes home and announces that s/he is feeling really pumped up. S/he wants to go out for dinner at a trendy restaurant/bar and would love to go dancing afterwards. What do you do?
   
   

   	I leap up and go without hesitation.
   	I mention that I was planning on spending the night at home, but go out anyway.
   	I mention that I was planning on spending the night at home, but go out anyway making it obvious this is not my idea of an enjoyable evening.
   	I refuse his/her offer with a guilty conscience.
   	I ask for a rain check - maybe another night.
   	I refuse to go - I am in no mood for a loud and busy restaurant tonight (let alone dancing!).
   	I refuse to go and forbid her/him to go-I expect company on my quiet nights.
   	I refuse to go, but suggest that s/he call some friends and go without me.

2. You and your partner plan to go see a movie. How do you typically make the final decision about which movie to see?
   
   

   	I insist on the movie of my choice and typically we end up seeing what I want to see.
   	I let my partner choose the movie.
   	I ultimately let my partner choose the movie, but my actions and expression show that s/he made the wrong choice.
   	My partner insists on seeing the movie of his/her choice and I don't stand in the way.
   	My partner lets me choose the movie and I gladly do it.
   	My partner lets me choose the movie and I reluctantly do it.
   	We agree on something we both want to see (even it if is not our first choice).
   	The only thing we can both agree on is to eventually see both movies.

3. You are tired after a long day and have just climbed into your wonderfully warm and cozy bed. As your head hits the pillow, your partner asks for one of your magical back rubs to help him/her fall asleep. Do you do it?
   
   

   	No way, I am dead-beat. S/he should be rubbing my back!
   	No, I explain that I am too tired tonight.
   	No, but I promise him/her a full body massage tomorrow night instead.
   	Yes, but only a really short one.
   	Yes, but the next day I complain about being exhausted and feeling miserable.
   	Yes, I can't refuse my honey.
   	Yes, but only if s/he promises to give me a back-rub the next night.
   	Since the subject has been raised, I insist that s/he give me a massage.

4. You are sitting on the couch reading a book when your partner walks in, turns on the TV, and sits down beside you. What do you do?
   
   

   	I ask that s/he turn down the volume so I can continue reading.
   	I exclaim, "I can't believe you turned on the TV when it's obvious that I am reading."
   	I demand that s/he turn off the TV so I can continue reading.
   	I continue reading and just tune out the TV.
   	While reaching for the remote, I ask if s/he minds if I turn it down a bit.
   	Without a word, I reach for the remote and turn down the volume until it is barely audible.
   	I take the remote and switch the TV off.
   	I go to another room so that I can read without disturbance.
   	I put in earplugs.

5. Do you ever find yourself refusing minor requests from your partner (such as getting him/her a glass of water, applying his/her sunscreen, running small errands, going with him/her to the dentist or doctor, etc)?
   
   

   	All the time, s/he can take care of him/herself.
   	From time to time, I don't like being relied on too much.
   	From time to time, I like helping out occasionally but I don't want to be constantly relied upon.
   	Rarely, I love to do things for my partner - it makes me feel good.
   	Never, I live to make my partner happy.

6. Do you feel uncomfortable when your partner does something nice for you (brings you a snack, picks up your dry cleaning on the way from his/her work, draws you a hot bubble bath after a long day, etc)?
   
   

   	I feel very uncomfortable.
   	I feel a bit uncomfortable.
   	I enjoy it but I don't request it.
   	Uncomfortable? I expect my partner to do these things for me.

7. Your partner suggests that you both go to the circus even though s/he knows perfectly well that you are morally opposed to all events using animals for entertainment or sport (hunting, fishing, cock fighting, bull fighting, etc). What would you do?
   
   

   	I'd refuse to go, but I'd make it clear that it is perfectly okay that s/he goes ahead without me.
   	Refusing to go, I'd insist that s/he don't go either.
   	I'd suggest something else to do that I know we'd both enjoy.
   	I'd agree to go if I got to choose the following weekend's activity.
   	I'd agree to go but would make sure my partner realizes that I am only going as a favor to him/her.
   	I'd cheerfully agree to go and pretend to love the event.

8. It is your couple's anniversary next week and you've noticed that your partner has marked the big day on his/her calendar. How would you respond?
   
   

   	I would start calling around for reservations at one of my partner's favorite restaurants.
   	I would start calling around for reservations at one of my favorite restaurants.
   	I would talk to my partner so that we could make the plans together.
   	I would consider making plans in advance but would ultimately decide to let my partner make the reservations.
   	I would assume that my partner is taking care of the celebration.
   	Respond to what?

9. You have just won a radio contest and consequently are off for an all-expenses paid trip to Mexico. Unfortunately your partner just started a new job and can't get the time off to go with you. S/he is really disappointed. What do you do?
   
   

   	Pack my bags - I'm outta here.
   	I do my best to convince him/her that I feel terrible, but go on the trip anyway.
   	I acknowledge that the situation sucks and explain why I really want to take this opportunity.
   	I discuss it with my partner and decide to turn down the trip, I'd feel bad going while s/he is back at home working.
   	I call the radio station and turn down the prize without even discussing it with my partner.

10. At work, your partner is in charge of one of the company's most prestigious accounts. His/her work has intensified due to a fast approaching deadline. As your partner's hours at the office get longer and later, what would you do to adapt to the situation?
    
    

    	I'd start meeting him/her at the office with picnic dinners for us to share.
    	I'd start meeting him/her at the office with take-out dinners, but ensure that he understands how exhausting this arrangement is for me.
    	I'd call my partner when I arrive home to give him/her a break.
    	I'd support my partner by offering to help out in any way I can.
    	I'd back off from my partner - s/he doesn't have time for me right now.
    	I'd be calling my partner several times each evening to see when s/he expects to be home - I need him/her!
    	I'd express to him/her that I am not getting the attention a partner should get, making it clear that I am upset with the situation.
    	I'd let him/her know how much I rely on him/her, asking that s/he make more time for me in the week.

11. You and your partner have been fighting a lot recently. You just can't figure out what is going wrong, but feel absolutely sure that you still want to be together. Your partner suggests that you make an appointment to see a counselor together. What is your reaction?
    
    

    	"No way, that stuff is for people with real problems."
    	"No thanks, I'd rather we try again on our own."
    	"No thanks, I'd rather end it now than go through all that hassle."
    	"Sure, I'll go but I won't say anything."
    	"Sure, I'll go but I'm not paying."
    	"Sure, I'll go, you really need help."
    	"Sure, I'll go"- but silently resolve not to participate once there.
    	"Okay, if things don't start improving in the next 2 months, maybe we should give it a try."
    	"Great, this is just what we need - I'm in."
    	"No way, it's your problem, not mine!"
    	I'd offer to go see a counselor on my own - it's probably my problem anyway.

12. It is Saturday and you have plans for the day with friends. You wake up excited for your day, you're your lover wakes up feeling awful. S/he has a case of the flu and is stuck in bed feeling pretty miserable. What do you do?
    
    

    	I postpone my plans until later in the day so that I can whip up a batch of red Jell-O (my partner's favorite).
    	I cancel the plans with my buddies so that I can stay home and nurse my beloved back to health.
    	I cancel with my buddies but my gloomy composure makes it obvious to my lover that I am making a sacrifice.
    	I call my buddies, announcing that I'll be half an hour late so that I can make sure my beloved is comfortable before I leave for the day.
    	I head out anyway, promising to call and check in every few hours.
    	I head out anyway, but bring back goodies and treats to cheer him/her up.
    	I go ahead with my plans as they were made - s/he will be fine alone for the day.

13. It is Wednesday night and both you and your partner feel drained by the first half of the workweek. There is nothing in the house for supper and you are both famished. What do you do?
    
    

    	We order out/dine out.
    	I wait for my partner to take action.
    	I ask my partner to run to the store and make the meal.
    	I run out to the store and make the meal.
    	I run to the store and make the meal, but don't say a word while we eat since it isn't fair that I had to do all the work.
    	We split the job - one of us goes to the store and the other cooks.
    	We go to the store together and make dinner together.

14. When in a relationship, Valentine's Day is the day you typically...
    
    

    	exchange gifts with your partner.
    	expect a gift from your partner (without giving).
    	give a gift to your partner (without expecting one in return).
    	forget all about the occasion until your partner brings it up.
    	ignore - my partner and I don't acknowledge this occasion.
    	disregard the occasion regardless of your partner's expectations.

15. You and your partner are making love. You have just climaxed but your partner is not quite there yet. What do you do?
    
    

    	I roll over and go to sleep.
    	I get up and leave - my business is done.
    	I continue the love session with gusto until my partner orgasms.
    	Although the pace is diminished, I continue the love session until my partner orgasms.
    	I continue the love session half-heartedly until my partner orgasms.
    	I stick around without actively participating until my partner brings her/himself to orgasm.
    	Pulling him/her close comfortingly, I plant him/her with an apologetic kiss.

16. Your partner gets hurt doing an activity you don't approve of (sky diving, skiing, volunteering in a dangerous neighborhood, walking home alone late at night, etc). What do you do?
    
    

    	I get angry with him/her for being so careless despite my warnings.
    	I immediately do what it takes to doctor him/her back to health.
    	Paralyzed with fear, I don't do anything.
    	I get frustrated and give him/her an "I told you so" lecture.
    	I say something like "that will teach you" or "serves you right" and let him/her deal with the situation alone.

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