Arguing Style Test 40 questions, 20-25 min When my partner appears in the mood for an argument, I leave, go to sleep or find something important to do and thereby avoid confrontation.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When I realize that I hurt my partner, I apologize.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never If I admitted my mistakes, I would give my partner the stick to beat me with.  Strongly agree  Agree  Partially agree/disagree  Disagree  Strongly disagree An argument is a bad time to pay my partner a compliment.  Strongly agree  Agree  Partially agree/disagree  Disagree  Strongly disagree In order to calm down my partner's anger/hurt, I apologize for things I haven't done/said.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I start an argument by announcing that I want to fight or to discuss a controversial issue.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When confronting my partner, I prefer to have a friend or relative around to serve as a judge.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never Once we start to argue, I prefer to tackle all the touchy issues I need to discuss with my partner (rather than solving them one at a time).  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I talk about my negative feelings during an argument.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When arguing, I state what problems I have with my partner's behavior/opinions (rather than criticizing his/her character).  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When I realize that I was wrong, I admit it to my partner.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When we argue, I attempt to find common ground before exploring the differences in our opinion.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When we argue, my old grudges intensify.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When arguing, I ask my partner for her/his side of the story.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I tell my partner what s/he needs to do in order to fix her/his problems.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I view arguments as a means of growth; personal and relationship-wise.  Strongly agree  Agree  Partially agree/disagree  Disagree  Strongly disagree During an argument, I attack where I know it hurts.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When I am really hurt/angry, I attack people, things, or issues that I know my partner really cares for.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I believe that in principle, arguing and fighting is bad for relationships/marriage.  Strongly agree  Agree  Partially agree/disagree  Disagree  Strongly disagree After an argument, I am left with bitter feelings.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never If there is something that bothers me greatly about our relationship, I let my partner know.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I believe that it is healthier to fight than to bottle up negative feelings.  Strongly agree  Agree  Partially agree/disagree  Disagree  Strongly disagree We end up fighting over something completely different than what we started with.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I encourage my partner to tell me what is bothering him/her about my behavior.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When I feel that my partner's arguments are not making any sense, I try to show her/him how ridiculous they are.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When the argument gets heated, I suggest a temporary cease-fire, a break to calm down.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I rephrase, in my own words, my partner's complaints to make sure that I understand correctly what s/he is saying.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I get so furious during arguments that it is difficult to think straight.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never During an argument, I leave alone old issues that have already been solved.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I take arguments with my partner lightly.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I concede defeat even though I still don't agree with my partner's viewpoint.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I start arguments when we are alone.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When confrontation seems imminent, I start giving my partner the silent treatment.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never After an argument, I feel relieved.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I tolerate outbursts of my partner's emotions.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I assure my partner that our relationship is stable despite the fight.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never Our arguments solve the issues we fight about.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never I validate my partner's feelings, even if I don't agree with her/his arguments.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When we argue, I point out my partner's character flaws.  Regularly  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never When the argument is over, we make up right away.  Most of the time  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Almost never This test is scored online. Click once on the Score button below to see the results and interpretation. If the server fails to respond, try clicking again. Test developed by QueenDom.com. Copyright © 1996 - 2001